Pitfalls of a High Achiever Mindset
Welcome to the Missing
Peace Coach podcast.
This podcast is for physicians and high
achieving professionals who want to find
satisfaction in their work and home life.
Again, I'm a mom, pediatric critical
care physician, business owner, mindset
expert, and multi certified coach.
Let's get started.
Hello?
Hello.
Welcome back to today's episode today.
We're talking about.
The pitfalls of a high achiever mindset.
So as we know high achievers,
we love a challenge.
We love the journey.
We set our sights on very big goals.
Big achievements,.
We put our heads down until we get
there and we don't look up until we do.
This brings me to pitfall.
Number one.
When we don't look up from the challenge
until we get there, we miss out on life
moments along the way we sacrifice.
Too much time with family, friends
and our wellness practices.
We skip our meditation.
We skip our workouts.
We make poor subpar decisions with
our mails, with our nutrition.
And we, cause we can't be bothered about
thinking about anything beyond our goal.
Anything extra beyond the
goal goes by the wayside.
This is not how you
want to live your life.
You want to be able to maintain
your restorative practices, your
wellness practices to maintain your
body because you're a human first.
You're a human first high achievers
mindset is part of your personality,
but you are a human first.
So making sure you have what you need.
As a human.
And maintain your connections
and relationships along the way.
We want to stop normalizing the
belief that it's lonely at the top.
When we believe that it's lonely at the
top, we normalize these, we normalize
these sacrifices that we make these
moments with our family and friends, and
we have to learn that is not worth it.
We can learn how to bring
our community with us.
We just have to learn how
to do it a different way.
The second put fall of
a high-achiever minds.
It is, we don't decide
how to feel ahead of time.
We assume the goal is going
to give us a specific kind of
feeling once it's accomplished.
And that's just not how it works.
The goal in itself is neutral the
completion of the accomplishment
and it of itself is neutral.
The achievement is neutral.
Your experience around that?
Given neutrality.
Is in your core.
Whether you deem it a success or an
opportunity that decision is yours.
Now.
Incoming cliche, but it's
truly not about the destination.
It's about the journey.
It's about who you become . En
route to that goal.
To that completion of that achievement.
It's about deciding ahead of time.
What you want to feel and experience
and experience that ahead of time.
It's like they say becoming
the who before the, how.
Becoming the person
before the destination.
The achievement becomes a cherry
on top because you are actively
becoming that person that
accomplishes the goal ahead of time.
You will always feel successful
when you do it this way, no longer.
Will you believe that the feeling
of success is fleeting because
you have learned how to feel it?
On route and the journey.
Because you no longer want to wait
for something outside of yourself
to tell you to feel successful.
You know how to do that for yourself.
I talk a little bit about this
and the evolution of high achiever
mindset and how we need to evolve
to how I believe the evolution is
towards a Maverick mindset, where you
become your own point of reference.
So take a listen to that.
If you haven't already.
I want you to learn how to decide
for yourself and not be dependent
on something external from you.
Moving on to the third pitfall is we
overextend ourselves beyond our capacity.
It's either because you're saying
yes to too many things, because
you're a people pleaser or you're
overestimating your capacity.
You have this tendency to want
to prove that you're superhuman
and it's not serving you anymore.
It's time to truly take.
An intake of your values and
accurate assessment of your time,
physical and emotional capacity.
Sometimes you don't know
what you don't know.
And so you want to use this assessment
and this intake to determine what you
say yes to and what you say no to.
Oftentimes this overextension is
also a symptom from conditioned
urgency, where your body and mind
believe everything is urgent.
And if it's not completed in a
certain timeline, it won't be done.
Or even the urgency is that you want
to get it done before the competition,
but oftentimes they're, the competition
is completely made up in your head.
You are your own category.
There is no competition.
Another reason you may be
overextending yourself is you
deem your worthiness dependent on
people believing you're helpful.
Listen.
Your worth is not tied to how many people
you make happy or how helpful you are.
This is your internalized
oppression coming through.
You are worthy.
There is nothing to prove.
If you continue to extend your worthiness
to something, it will never be proven.
You will never truly
believe that you're worthy.
If you need a reason to believe it.
There is no reason you need
to believe that you aware that
you just are in a sentence.
I also want to mention that
overextending yourself is another way
of resisting being a humble beginner.
You just can't scent.
You just can't stand
being bad at something.
So you use different projects or
obligations to distract you from
that feeling of being a beginner.
Is deeply uncomfortable.
I get it.
It's almost as co as.
It's almost as uncomfortable
as learning how to rest.
You're deeply uncomfortable
with the resting.
Now, I know some of you have
ADHD or undiagnosed ADHD,
so there's nuance of this.
But the discomfort you feel with
RAs is so unbearable that burning
herself to the ground is far more
pleasant because it's familiar to you.
That's not a reason to keep doing it.
Sometimes some of us
need to learn how to rest
that's actually a thing.
Learning how to titrate rest sitting
still for five to 10 increments.
So your body gets used to it.
It needs to learn to say still to be
restorative, to regenerate in order to
become effective, when it really matters,
the next pitfall is.
We've become obsessed with extraordinary.
I've noticed that the overarching culture
specific to America, American culture.
That we've become obsessed
with extraordinary.
Uh, social media is a big culprit of this,
but even without social media, we were
always concerned with fame, celebrity.
Um, celebrities money and that's and
how that's tied to a lot of people's.
Goals and we end up missing.
The mission and the message
and we get lost in the metrics.
It becomes so twisted in our
pursuit of extraordinary.
That it's turned into how we
find belonging with one another.
That's why trends bug the crap out of me.
It's like this race to do
the trend the best and who can
be the most extra about it.
And it just comes off in genuine.
This the way this shows up is like
the obsession with Ivy league schools.
The wanting the million dollar
business, but you don't really know why.
Having all the degrees and achievements
and having an amazing resume, but you
feel like crap and unfulfilled inside.
When you become obsessed with
extraordinary, you have now
abdicated your personal leadership,
your personal excellence.
You operate in this continued disconnected
state and you're left unfulfilled.
Now not saying not aiming for excellence,
I'm saying define it for yourself.
And let that commitment to
your personal excellence.
Speak for itself.
Actually this is the
last pitfall I promise.
You don't know how to ask
for help high achievers.
Don't like to resource themselves.
, high achievers have trouble
resourcing themselves because they
believe they can do everything
themselves and they can do it better.
Humans are not meant to live in silos.
Our humanity is meant to resources.
One another.
This is why community is important.
Community is biological.
Toxic hyper individualism is unnatural.
When you learn that there's
nothing to prove to anyone.
That is.
The most freeing thing
you can give to yourself.
That's the best gift you
can give to yourself.
So.
That w that may have been a lot
for one episode, but I would love
to know what came up for you.
My email will be in the show notes
or connect with me on LinkedIn.
Or Instagram, send me a DM.
I'd love to hear from you.
Thank you for listening and I'll
catch you on the next episode.
