The Making of The Missing Piece Coach
Welcome to the Missing
Peace Coach podcast.
This podcast is for physicians and high
achieving professionals who want to find
satisfaction in their work and home life.
Again, I'm a mom, pediatric critical
care physician, business owner, mindset
expert, and multi certified coach.
Let's get started.
All right today, we're talking about
the making of the missing piece coach.
So in full transparency, I'm
rerecording this because I love you.
I initially recorded it on a walk
and I was like, I think it's fine.
And then I'm listening back to
it and I'm like, oh my gosh.
It's hurting my ears.
I will probably doing walking episodes.
Cause I do like feel so much
inflow and I would really like
to avoid the editing process.
But but for today's episode, we
are, we, are we recording it?
Because we want to be nice to your ears.
So the making of the missing piece coach
I launched my business in December, 2020.
I had just completed a year.
Ear of being an attending.
Tending I'm a pediatric.
Patrick critical care attending.
Sending I completed my
fellowship in July of 2019.
I started my job in.
August of that same year.
Ana.
And.
I'm also.
At the time and along.
Distance marriage.
My husband was completing his
neurosurgery residency and fellowship.
And so I was a little bit ahead of him.
And so I, the goal was to find a job
that will allow me to easily go back.
To see him frequently.
Because I was also pregnant at the
time I was pregnant while I was
pregnant, when I had graduated.
Fellowship has started the new job.
So in December of 2020, I had my 11
month old baby girl it's COVID time.
And I was not seeing my husband as
frequently as we had planned, as
my job had changed the schedule.
The schedule that was sold to me
during the interview was different
than what it was when I started.
So we were seeing each other, maybe.
Once every few weeks, it was a
six hour, six to seven hour drive.
Again, he's a neurosurgery resident.
So hard to get that.
Time off to come down.
And so we would see each other for
about 24 hours every few weeks.
And also keep in mind that babies
tend not like to sleep in their first.
Uh, two years and we weren't sending
her to daycare because of COVID.
So my mom would come down and my
brother would come down and help.
And I remember coming home from my night
shift and they were exhausted because
she was keeping them up all night.
And so then I would have to stay up
during the day and then maybe get,
I would essentially be sleeping.
The, the, the majority of my sleep.
Was on.
At work.
So depending on the shift, Was depending
on how much slept asleep I got.
So that was a rough time period.
And also the team dynamic,
the culture dynamic.
Wasn't the healthiest,
I didn't have any friends.
I tried to find companionship with the
nurses, but that could only go so far.
And so it was just trying to paint a
scene of like, it was a difficult time.
And I think at this time frame,
I was also attempting while.
I did not that attempting.
I did complete my.
Uh, the last couple of classes in my MBA.
So your girl was stressed.
Your girl had a lot on her plate.
I was sleep deprived.
And so it was a difficult
time and I had found coaching.
I had found coaching to
help support me with that.
I think it's also important to mention
for additional context of like my
state of mind is in the undercurrent.
In my mind, there was this
storyline that I didn't choose
medicine on purpose, and I had.
Some frustration and anger and
resentment with that storyline because.
Of me not choosing on purpose it, medicine
was more of a perceived obligation
rather than true choice of passion.
When I was younger, my mom essentially
told me that choose medicine or law.
And those were my two choices.
And she was like, you pick, there was
no real family discussion about it.
There was no family meeting.
This is what you're doing.
So here we go.
And so at the time I was like, I
guess that sounds like a good idea.
And luckily I made it work.
I chose medicine.
And so throughout my training and
schooling and things like that.
I always had this, like,
I didn't choose this on purpose.
Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?
And I was always questioning.
If this was what I was
supposed to be doing.
And over time, that takes a toll and
I knew that I wanted to help people.
But I just wasn't sure that
medicine was the way to do it.
And so that was the undercurrent
in my mind for 10 plus years.
And I just always managed to
convince myself to just stay in
a game and I made the most of it.
But.
Coming to the point of.
Of 2020 the, the voice of like this isn't
it just couldn't be ignored anymore.
It was just like this isn't it.
This isn't it.
That's what I just kept hearing in my head
while I was walking into the hospital.
Like, this is not it.
And it got so loud that it
literally started feeling a mental
tantrum that I couldn't shake.
And.
That was really.
How coaching.
Just changed my life.
Forever in that moment during
that time period, I was like,
this is an it in one day.
I just followed a thread of
like, as one does and Facebook
groups and I found life coaching.
And immediately, my body
was like, this is it.
Oh my gosh, this is it.
And I wasn't even a student.
The school for a period of time
before I signed up for certified
coaching program, I just signed up.
And.
I just fell in love and it was just
like, it felt like a click in my body.
It was literally the missing
piece that I didn't know that
I needed the missing piece.
I didn't know to look for.
And that's why I named my business, the
missing piece coach, because coaching
has been something that has been.
So transformative and
helpful and freeing and.
Ah, just real feel good.
Amazing.
Things that has opened my mind
and life in more ways than one.
And when I made the decision, the
brain loves to give evidence on
what it's already searching for.
So when I made this decision,
I was like, oh, that's right.
Like, Memory started flooding of me having
conversations during fellowship with
nurses and respiratory therapists about
their work satisfaction in their life.
And if they were happy and
what we could do about it.
And just spending like, Hours
on night shift, like just.
Having these discussions.
And I would be so curious and
asking them questions about what
they, what they were saying.
And.
Enjoyed having the privilege
of being able to give them a
different perspective . And.
It just brings me.
It just brought me so much joy to
be able to have those conversations
with different people and wanting
to have more impact in how that.
And how that showed up for people
at the work, because we spend
a majority of our time at work.
So it's, I believe it's important
to get satisfaction from that
and how that spills into.
Our home life, how that shows up into
our relationships in our, with our
partners, with our, with our children.
I also want to help solve for
the reunion moment with, with
parents, with their children.
I always recall this study
where they compared work.
Uh, stay at home parents to
work to working parents and how
there was this belief that the.
More time a parent spent with their
child the better, but it disproved
that it showed that the quality
of the time, not the quantity.
And they specifically examine
like the reunion time with.
The children, if the parents came home,
Disgruntled frustrated, stressed, and
express that to their child and not even.
Uh, verbally, but in body language that
negatively impacted the relationship with
the child but the parent that showed up
that arrived home, happy, joyous, calm.
And was able to be present
with their child that was more
meaningful and that showed more
positive effects in their child.
And it makes sense.
Right.
But it's not about the time.
Like you can have, even if you work.
If you have a nine to five job, you
can have a better relationship with
your child than a stay at home.
Parent who's miserable.
So one that speaks to not having guilt.
About having this ambition and having, and
wanting to have this job and satisfying.
Your desires and that way, and
still wanting to be impaired,
like releasing that guilt.
That you may be having, because you
think you're negatively impacting your
children because you're away from home.
Like letting that go.
But also knowing that we're not defending
80, 90 hour work weeks, there has to be
a balance, but just letting the guilt
alone of wanting to have a job or wanting
to have a career and ambition and still
being parent, like you can have both.
And not negatively impact
your child, that's one thing.
And then the second thing
is understanding that your.
Taking care of yourself and
your emotional wellbeing.
Is the best thing that you
can do putting yourself first.
And that way is the best thing you
can do as a parent, because the
effects can be, , tenfold from that.
So prioritizing yourself
is great parenting.
So I think that that's really it.
I just wanted you to know.
A little bit of my background story.
If you have any questions.
I am.
I am.
like 90% an open book.
I think.
But connect with me.
I'm so happy you're here.
The social links are in the show notes.
Thank you so much for listening.
Take care.